How to Be Somebody in 8 Easy Steps

1. Get Loaded – It doesn’t matter if you inherited the money or if your family is landed or if you made it by hustling investment bankers. The important thing is to have money and preferably lots of it in liquid form.
2. Be Charming – Knowing how to work the ladies is one of the key elements of being successful in anything you do and especially when it comes to a high aim like being a player.
3. Live the Role – This is a secret but more important than actually being a player is to look the part and more importantly to be known to be one.
4. Stay Connected – No, not to the internet. Create a network of useful, influential and powerful people that you can work to your benefit.
5. Big Wheels – Yes, a nice car but also distinctive and make it your own. The best way to do this is to get a custom paint job and private car number plates that stand out in public.
6. Be Seen – Part of the act is to make sure you are visible at all the right places and all the happening dos around your city. Make sure you can score an invite to the most exclusive parties every weekend.
7. Be Exclusive – This goes against the previous rule, but there’s a balance to be maintained here. Don’t over-expose yourself, in other words, don’t be Posh Spice. Know when to withdraw, control your public profile and when everybody goes on holiday, take their excellent example and follow it. At the very least, make yourself scarce during the silly season.
8. Be Good At Something – This is a tough one. Because it involves actually doing something productive and failing which doing something very, very high-profile and media friendly – in other words attract publicity. Figure out what you are good at, if nothing else get a job in the media. These are usually easy to get if you know the right people and can get you a standing in society that is not proportionate to your contribution to it.